Coding like a politician?

Fabbook Life and Dev

I woke up this morning with a strange hair on the top of my head. I am super angry, I am the most important person in the universe. I should maybe adapt my way to code. So how do I start?

Advertise much better

Every time I will code a single line, I would call a press conference to acknowledge what I’ve done. I would take credit for any work done (or undone) by any other person. The key is always here to take credits and dodge the for the blame. Let’s spam my colleague with thousand of mails describing any of my small achievement.

Focus on visible problem not on important one

First of all I will make sure to deal with problem easy to see. Even if they are not relevant this are the problem than people see. Let’s solve every issue on the screen by css. If a number is wrong I just need to hide it.

If you do not see the problem there is no problem anymore

Here is some example of class you can use on problematic data:

.problematic-data {
  display: none !important;

Always look for someone to blame

If I think really hard, I can always find someone responsible for any kind of problem. And even if it involve my own work: Let say I created a problem with my code, I’m sure I can say that someone specified this code poorly and that’s why I did it wrong after. Even the guy who take care of the coffee machine can be responsible, because the machine do not deliver good coffee and I can not work good in this conditions. I start to wonder if the guy who does the coffee is Mexican It would explain a lot of the problem I found in my code.

Arguing better

I gonna start to change the way I discuss issue. First in order to prove I’m right I need to make sure that the other is wrong. And there is many way to prove somebody is wrong, I can use personal attack. I don’t even need to use real arguments ( Fallacy should do the job )

I’m ready for politic now !

With this following adjustments I should be successful in politic in no time. Probably not in engineering but I have a bigger plan now ! Mouaha ha ha …(Evil laugh)